The Spell

Nathan was miserable. He was living alone, in a one bedroom apartment, unable to sleep, unable to think, unable to just do something . He had a job he hated, he could never keep a relationship for very long, and to top it off, he was slowly slipping into a depression. If things didn't turn around... he didn't know what would happen.

This night was no different from any other night, as he tossed and turned, unable to find a comfortable spot to sleep in. He sighed, and sat up, before grabbing his laptop, and walking out to his living room, which was a small affair, with a low ceiling and minimal furniture.

Desperate for at least a good nights sleep for once, he started to look up a few ideas for relaxation.

Sifting through page after page of information ranging from new-age wisdom to various drug ads, he stumbled across a forum post with the title: "Strangest thing I've ever done to get to sleep"

It read:

Look, I know I sound crazy, I know it's dumb to think this could happen, and yes, I might have been on something when it did, but I can swear up and down that last night, I blew up and floated around like a balloon.

Nathan groaned. Great. More crazy theories. But, the guy seemed to know how crazy it sounded, and hell, Nathan was pretty desperate himself. So, despite all logical reasons to stop, he kept reading.

I'd like someone else to replicate this, so I'm going to post step by step what to do. If you are able to replicate this, please let me know.
Step one: get into something comfortable and stretchy. You're going to get HUGE, so this is very, very important.

Nathan wrinkled his brow. Was he really going to do this? Was he going to accept the ramblings of a person who is likely insane?

He sighed, and went to get changed. When he came back, he was wearing a huge white shirt, and a pair of stretchy grey sweatpants.

Step two: Get a balloon.

What? He didn't own any balloon-

When he turned, he saw a green balloon had appeared, and was now sitting on the couch arm next to him.

If one just appears out of nowhere, use it. This means you're on the right track. (At least from what I experienced).

This was downright bizarre. How did that balloon just appear out of nowhere?! Carefully, Nathan picked it up, and held it in his fingers. He looked it over a few times, making sure he wasn't going crazy.

"It's just a balloon." He said to himself. Compelled to see what would come from all of this, he read on.

Step Three: blow it up as big as you can, without popping it.

Simple enough. Nathan shrugged, and lifted the balloon to his mouth, before taking a deep breath. The balloon grew before him, squeaking as he blew into it. Over and over, Nathan made the green balloon bigger with each breath, stopping just before it was about to burst. It was rather tight to the touch. Hopefully, he wouldn't burst it by simply holding it.

Step four: this one's the weirdest by far. You have to say this incantation, while stroking the balloon gently:

Stretchy like rubber, round like a ball,
Vast like the cosmos, encircling all,
Let me grow bigger, my skin smooth and tight,
And let this spell last me the rest of the night,
Fill me to the brim, but spare me the worst,
Though I shall inflate, I will never burst.

After that, slowly inhale from the balloon. If this works like it did for me, you should start to expand like a balloon. You'll get rather big, so make room for yourself. And, try thinking light thoughts as you say this. For me, it turned the air into helium. Good luck!


Nathan sighed, and looked down at his filled balloon. The "spell" that was before him could not be real. Maybe it was some sort of hypnotizing thing that would put him to sleep. He moved the coffee table out of the way, taking the advice of the post before standing in the middle of the room. Having nothing to lose, he put his hand over the balloon, and started to stroke it slowly as he spoke.

"Stretchy like rubber, round like a ball,
Vast like the cosmos, encircling all,
Let me grow bigger, my skin smooth and tight,
And let this spell last me the rest of the night,
Fill me to the brim, but spare me the worst,
Though I shall inflate, I will never burst."

As he spoke, he thought of a light breeze and clouds, as well as floating balloons and bubbles. The balloon felt no different in his hand, and nothing has happened to him yet.

"Alright then. Here goes nothing." Breathing out slowly in order to calm himself, he lifted the balloon back to his mouth, and slowly started to inhale the air.

At first, nothing seemed to be happening. Even the balloon was the same size, even as Nathan continued to breath in. He shifted a bit on his feet, feeling a strange tingling in his fingers. He looked down, only to see his once flat stomach starting to bulge out.

"Mmmph?!" He tried to pull the balloon out, but it was stuck firmly to his lips. Even after he let go of the neck, the balloon's air continued to flow into him at the same pace. He grabbed his stomach in shock, feeling how smooth it had become just from inhaling a small amount of air.

"Mmmph! Mmhmm!" He tried desperately to pull the balloon away, not wishing to grow any bigger than he had, but the balloon was stuck, and so was he. His arms and legs soon filled with air, as well as his torso becoming rounder and bigger. His once loose fitting clothing now clung to his slowly expanding body, stretching as he inflated like a toy balloon. He watched, wide eyed, as the balloon shrank in size as he became rounder and large. He tried to bend his arms to get at the balloon, but the pressure was too great.

"Mmmmph." He sighed, resigned to his fate to become a balloon. He tried to relax, and figure out how this was happening. The spell seemed to work out after all...meaning he would do what exactly? Just as Nathan was trying to remember, he felt his puffy feet slowly leave the ground, allowing him to float up towards the ceiling.

"Mmm? Mmmph!!" He tried to fight his way back down, but his limbs had been absorbed by his growing form, leaving only a pair of puffy hands and feet to wiggle about in a panic. Would he explode? Would he be stuck like this? The balloon let out the last of its air into his cheeks, before falling limply from his lips onto the floor below.

"Oh...my...god..." He whispered, voice squeaky from the helium he had just inhaled from the balloon. "It worked. It all," He yawned, suddenly very tired, "Worked. Just as they said..." He blinked a few times, overcome with the need to sleep to think more on what had just happened. "Rather comfy..." He sighed, before drifting off to sleep.

The next morning...

Nathan was face down on the floor, sleeping deeply. His alarm began to beep in his bedroom, slowly forcing him to wake. He blinked, and rolled over. Why was he on the ground? He put a hand on his stomach, feeling no difference or effect from the night before. Had it been a dream? Had he really become a balloon last night? He sat up, and looked down to see the green balloon sitting next to him.

He smirked, and looked to his computer. He had a response to write...